The New

From the aunt

Carbon is the new smog. Brown is the new black. Tea is the new coffee. Kia is the new Hyundai. Geek is the new nerd. Fair market is the new free market. Cozumel is the new Acapulco. Asheville, N.C., is the new Fremont, Wash. Rap is the new rock. Local is the new global. Skateboards are the new in-line skates. (Note: In-line skates were the new skateboards two decades ago.) Green is the new eco. Eco-tourism is the new archeological dig vacation. All-inclusive resort is the new ocean cruise. Platinum is the new gold. Titanium is the new aluminum. Hemp the new cotton. Hormone-free is the new organic. Friends-with-benefits is the new significant other. Gmail is the new Yahoo mail. Flash drives are the new CDs. Orlando Blum is the new Richard Gere. Lindsay Lohan is the new Liza Minelli. Interdisciplinary is the new ivory tower. Drums are the new primal scream therapy. Anne Hathaway is the new Sandra Bullock. Crocs are the new jellies. China is the new Japan. Outsourcing is the new contracting. Bariatric surgery is the new lipsuction. Text messaging is the new IM. Starbucks is the new indoor mall.


From the niece

YouTube is the new TV, three-quarter pants on men are the new baggy jeans (that is my prediction! mark my words--it is coming)."Grey's Anatomy" is the new "ER," Bratz are the new Barbies, iPods/Zunes are the new CD players, emo is the new goth, computers are the new books, Dane Cook is the new Jerry Seinfeld, MySpace is the new (mall, hangout, chat room, idk?), abbreviations are the new slang.